Northern Ireland Again!!

BACK.

After somewhat of a personal emotional rollercoast of a summer, though still awesome as I caught up with & had incredibly adventures with my loved ones, I am in Northern Ireland yet again! As I write this, I am sitting in Lorraine's fabulously comfortable & humble estate at Beresford Hill in County Down. The closet space available to me is overwhelming as I have the entire wardroabe (which takes up an entire wall) to myself this year. I'm at a loss as to what to do with all the space- I feel like all my stuff is scattered around the four corners of the world! (Ashleigh, I miss you!!!)

Cheryl picked me up at the airport & then took me out for "coffee" (I got water, a clementine, & a slice of square tomato-basil-mozzerella pizza). I spent the remainder of the afternoon unpacking & power-napping. Upon dinnertime, the Bailies' picked me up again (oh, this was after I woke up to a sweet hug from my sweet mummy Lorraine!) & we chowed down on Chinese food in their living room. I met the newest addition to the Bailie family as well- Molly, their rabbit. She's SO CUTE! --except that she poops everywhere. But pooping seemingly uncontrollably is Molly's only flaw =]

I walked back to Lorraine's in the silent twilight & pondered my feelings. The walk felt normal- completely familiar. I seemed to need to remind myself that I've been away for six weeks. I do miss my family (& the sun) at the minute, which makes the move feel more real.

However, I feel like I'm in control & that this year will be familiar & that I know exactly what I'm doing. This scares me. It also makes me feel less confident & wary because I know I know nothing about this year, & I have never had less control. Everything is too familiar & comfortable for my own good!! I am anxious for everything to get started so that the familiarity becomes blurred.

Love.

don't let the panic bring you down

Just yesterday I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have the kind of family I do.

Well, I've always known that I'm lucky, but it's something i push to the back of my head without ever really reveling in it.

My family is so unique- after my parents had my 3 biological sisters & me, they added 3 more little ones from China to the tree. There's a huge gap between Sarah (8) & my youngest biological sister Kirstyn (16), & some families wouldn't be able to handle that. But I think we do very well.

Yesterday Sarah & I were in a store & we slowly walked by the diamond jewelry section, admiring the sparkling earrings, necklaces, & rings. When we were looking at the rings specifically, Sarah strung together a few simple words that filled me with the wonderment of her innocence,

"I wonder if they change color."

Unfortunately I had to inform her that these kinds of rings don't change color, which she seemed to take ok. But, wow. As we were gazing at diamonds, her only thought was if they changed color, like the plastic mood ring she wears around her finger. This amazes me!!

Without the 3 little rascals in my life, how would I be reminded of little things like this? I am so blessed to daily be prompted about how simple life can be if only we allow it. I am aware that most people in my stage of life, transitioning from teen into young adult, are void this blessing. And so it's no wonder that they get sucked into the monotony of the "real world" & forget the freedom we all once held as a child.

The grumpy old man in the grocery store line used to spend his summer days fishing with his buddies.

The rude & seemingly lifeless customer relations person on the other end of your phone line used to love reading Dr. Seuss.

The angry cashier decked out in her chipped black nail polish used to wear nothing but yellow.

These guys know how to live, & they can't even drive!