break & mend.

So I have this awesome aunt whom i call my Auntie Bethie. She's way cool. For my birthday last year, she took me to the Philadelphia Art Museum (We were going to go to an Andrew Bird show in Philly, but the CB East talent show was the same night........ ... ..... .. . .. . . . . . .) Auntie Bethie, though I don't know if she knows it or not, is going to take me to get my first tattoo, whenever that happens.

Anyways, this wonderful aunt of mine commented on my post 'and so tears came', & i think what she said is insightful, & I very much agree. So i'm posting it here:

"Guarding ones heart is a tricky task...don't guard it so closely as to be afraid to let someone in..there is a thin line between guarding the doors of our heart and shutting the door. Remember that God has purpose in everything he allows to happen in our lives and that through heartache comes healing...a broken heart is also open."

I know heartbreak is meant to happen in everyone's life. It makes us grow, & it leaves room for deeper love to come. I think I've pounded the phrase 'guard your heart' into my head so much this past year that I've forgotten that it's important to let people [aka boys] in as well. So, thanks for the wee reminder auntie bethie =]

However, I think it's important to guard your heart a little in the sense that you don't pour your emotions out to just anybody. It's good to dance, but i think we should save our feet from dancing with just anyone at all. [Duke Special, "Freewheel"] I think the movies & songs these days advocate that it's ok to become emotionally connected to absolutely anyone. For instance,in a lot of flicks, the protagonist couple always has a scene where they spill their hearts out to eachother, & then sleep together. Like, what's that all about? That's not how it's meant to work. [It's like, Girl: "I had an awful childhood"; Guy: "I had an awful childhood too"; Both: "Wow, we're meant for eachother....let's have sex" .....ok, ridiculous.] And then the next day is great, but then something unspeakable happens, then comes the chase scene, & finally the happy couple magically ends up together. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

K, sorry, went off on a tangent there.
I think what i'm trying to get at is, people these days think it's OK to spill their deepest feelings to absolutely anyone, thus emotinally connecting themselves to whomever & thinking it's ok to date them. But when the time comes for the break-up [which is inevitable in relationships such as this], it's way messier & broken than it ever needed to be. And what could've been a beautiful friendship had they realized they weren't meant to become romantic, is gone.

I just feel so sad for people who bring unnecessary heartbreak onto themselves.

Quite Hippie-Like

[an artistic description of how i am so blessed with the most awesome friends in the world]

I set out in sight of a tea party, anxious to catch up with a few dear friends.
Katie greeted Elise & I at the front door-
She would've fetched the sight of any gentleman in her green sundress and carefully crafted homemade beads had she been about town,
But instead, that Monday night found her practicing the hospitality she is so incredibly gifted with.
She led us into the house,
And the tea party I had orginally expected suddenly turned into a party of sheer extravagance,
With shouts of surprise and wonderful hilarity!
Confusion forced my lips to form a "Whaa--?"
But the banner hanging from the ceilling offered assistance to me, as it spelled my name
And confirmed my speculation as to why people had just jumped out from behind couches.
Shock and joy shook me as I embnraced those who are as close to my heart as family,
And in each guest's eyes I saw unadulterated friendship.

That damn silly smile wouldn't give my face a break.

The songs we sang that night continued to the next day.
After some tete-a-tete wtih Micaeli
I slept, dreamt, and woke to my best friend telling me it was 9:20 and we ought to prepare for our morning's planned expedition to Rice's.
We ventured through the vendor's sales,
Each conquering the prices of the stands behind and next to them, of course,
Stopping every so often to test a pair of sunglasses
Or question the value of a potential graduation gift.
But, it was hot.
Finally melted by the sun we retreated to the comfort fo air conditioning at the Rourke residence,
At which Mary-Pat and wee Sean-the-Irishman paid a visit!
Curled up on the sofa, I reveled in the love, family, and friendship mingling together.

Later, as the sun sunk closer to the horizon
We glorified nature and treaded through its beauty.
Our toes and soles met slick rocks as we precariously traipsed through the river,
Taking caution not to slip as we followed the stream and momentarily shared habitat with aglae and fungi-
They clung to the rocks in order to not get swept away
As friends and loved ones alike, we held and steadied each other.
It came time to leave the water, and, quite hippie-like, we endeavored to the country road;
Asphalt paralleling liquid silver;
Asphalt and tar that read the prints of our bare feet as we made our way to the covered bridge.
There were some nice boy scouts on bicycles that offered salutations, which we returned.
We're friendly like that.

Upon reaching the bridge we were satisfied to realize that it was indeed covered,
And it is my hope that our tourist friends from Delaware unearthed the same satisfaction in the photograph they snapped as they drove by.
We turned around, and on the journey back to Delilah
I made each step exact to protect my feet from burning on the black, sun-soaked solution for smooth cruising.
As as my feet focused on sparing themselves from pain
My lungs were set on having enough breath to belt the Eisley melodies we carried with us down the road.
We tuned trolleys and pushed them through the wood,
Unconcerned for those who would prefer us not to sing-
Not concerned about anything at all.
And the wild raspberries were so tangy sweet on our tongues.

The day came to a close with an impromptu gathering in the Comber kitchen
Featuring party cake ice cream and mismatched milkshakes.
We washed our feet with the garden hose and collapsed in the grass,
Tucking the sweet spontaneity away until we sing together again.

[shout out to KFulg for throwing me a surprise party, & ECombs & MRourke for an awesome Tuesday]

what i love about being home

i know i just did a blog about food, but just bear with me please.

i was really overwhelmed this morning when deciding what kind of cereal to have for breakfast.

you would be overwhelmed too if you had 25 types of deliciously organic cereal to choose from.

[including 5 boxes of Puffins.]

my sisters & i are at the library.

kirstyn is going to take out some movies. the titles are:

'the doors' (a documentary type thing i guess)

'titanic' (she's never seen it...)

'the sting' (her friend's favorite movie apparently)

'desperate housewives season 1' (she's seen all of the seasons except the first)

'life is beautiful' (recommended by her boss)

we're at the library because i wanted to upload photos online & at home we only have dial-up. thus, i am wasting less time than i would be at home.

home.

this is where i am at the moment. for 6 or 7 weeks-ish. 

home is bucks county, pennsylvania.

doylestown specifically, but i don't like saying that really because 'doylestown' = posh & our family isn't.

cheryl warned that when she got home after being on her gap year, she struggled to find purpose for each day. so that's what i prayed for this morning. purpose. God's really challenging me at the moment. He's opened my eyes this year, & i can think of 2 things specifically at the moment:

1. guard your heart. [Proverbs 4:23] i'm not talking about me right here, i'm talking about what i've seen in dromore with the 12-15 year old girls 'being with', 'meeting' [whatever you want to call it] boys that are much too old & experienced for them. i've seen girls go through unnecessary self-inflicted pain & really suffer because of it. girls, protect yourselves, please. you don't necessarily have to go through a lot of pain to find the right person.

2. ministry is not for one place at one time. as i am home at the moment, i have not left my ministry in dromore. my LIFE is my ministry. therefore, wherever i am, whenever, i am always to be living & shining for my Savior. it's not only the guys & girls in dromore that i am to help- there are broken people all around me; friends, family, strangers...i am to be all things to ALL men. 

so, if you knew me before i went to ireland, don't expect the exact same amanda. i'm still a dork, but a dork with a purpose. =]